#also sorry if the edit is kind of shitty i used a windows program

[annaofaza]

The walk of determination as Wolfwood steels himself to do his duty.

Vash slumped over, alone, then raising his head to look at Wolfwood.

Them staring at each other: Vash, weary but maybe hopeful to talk and reconcile, and Wolfwood, still flustered from his confrontation with Chapel.

Wolfwood drinking Vash in. So angry he has to do this. So scared. So saddened but he has to do this. To protect the orphanage. To protect himself.

Wolfwood looking down, away, rejecting him, Vash visibly startled and hurt with that short little gasp.

Wolfwood walking right past him, head turned firmly away, with the KNIVES tomb-like stele and the town washed in sunset in the background.

Fucking poetic. (And the perfect opportunity to kiss)

[in-tua-deep]

The mechanical boy AU always makes me think of an AU where Five is also a robot. I think it’s because of the way it’s phrased and I have no idea how it would work, but it still intrigues me

adssfDFGHJ i already have like. 5 whole ideas about this I literally got up out of bed and came downstairs so that I could write this out on my laptop so HERE I AM

Possibility one: Five is the prototype Grace - a robot Reginald built to see how indistinguishable from humanity he could program a bot to be. This is also the reason why Grace is more robotic, because Five had too much pesky free will and Reginald learned from his mistakes and put way more safeguards in with her. Reginald continues to update Five and build him newer (and older) bodies because it’s still a pretty cool experiment, but Five knows if he disobeys too much then Reginald will recycle him. Five hides his robotic origins from his siblings for various personal reasons, but it’s easier than Grace bc he’s genuinely built to be as hyperrealistic as possible

Possibility two: Five was purposefully built to be an extra sibling in order to keep a closer eye on the kids and track their progress. He started as a baby and Reginald built him new bodies to be uploaded into as he ‘grew’ and until Grace arrived Five didn’t actually know he was a robot. When his siblings started getting powers, he assumed he was supposed to get a power as well and his power is literally the power of math - his spatial jumps and time travel equations are literally a result of his mathematical capabilities and those abilities also somewhat explained by his computer brain. He’s actually kind of traumatized when he finally finds out that he’s not actually human and has a lot of issues surrounding that

Possibility three: the original number Five died. Maybe it was some test Reginald put the original through, maybe it was an accident with one of the others powers (Vanya’s? Ben’s?), but either way he is now down one (1) child and while he isn’t exactly torn up about this he doesn’t exactly want any of this investigated so he just. Replaces him. With a hyperrealistic robot. His original plan is to claim that both Five and Seven were failures with no powers, but the little Robot Five That Could adapts and manages to math himself spatial jumping powers and Reggie is just kind of like “huh okay wack” but in true irresponsible creator fashion decides that he’s going to see where this goes. The others don’t know that the original Five dies since they were like, three or four at the time?? children that young don’t have good concepts of death

in any of these aus you have a) a Five figuring out how to survive/repair himself/charge with maybe solar cables?? in the apocalypse (though food is less of an issue at least, but arguably it’s even harder), b) Five being even more protective of Dolores since as a a fellow non-organic being he feels even more kinship with her beyond pretending she’s company, c) because Reggie isn’t there to provide more bodies he doesn’t grow which makes his reappearance as a still 13-yr-old make sense (and then he explains it as a mistake in the math)

debatable whether the Commission know since while they say they’ve been ‘watching Five’ or whatever i’m not convinced on how closely they did so beyond checking every so often to see if he was still alive/any closer to finishing his equations. He could claim that time travel messed up his ability to age entirely and they might accept that 

(because I absolutely think he would at least try to hide it - can you imagine the Commission with the knowledge of how to build hypercompetent spatial jumping time travelling robots at their command?? yeah it gives Five nightmares as well. Plus the whole ‘if they find out they’re probably going to vivisect me and my coding’ thing)

and he jumps back and Reggie is dead and that’s both a relief and alarming at the same time because yeah, now Reggie can’t fuck with Five’s code anymore and undo the bajillion changes Five has made to it to give himself basically unlimited freedom and autonomy but also Reggie’s robotics skills were frankly unparalleled and Five sure as hell doesn’t know how to build himself a wholeass new body (just how to repair what is currently there) so he’s going to have to approach the whole ‘immortal child’ angle with his siblings eventually and while he can use the same ‘time travel fucked up my aging’ excuse he gave the commission he doesn’t really want to lie to his siblings :(

but he also jumps back and Grace is messed up?? and that’s his mother. That’s the only other robot in Reggie’s Regime and they bonded over this okay. Wifi existed for five glorious years of Five’s life and they would yeet commentary at one another wirelessly while keeping straight faces and it was glorious. Even though Grace is arguably the younger robot between them, they definitely fell into a mother-and-son relationship

so yeah if anyone mentioned shutting down Grace, Five would throw the biggest of bitch fits and then immediately storm into the house and ask her permission to check her coding

and honestly this might possibly be when Five throws his whole “pretend to be human” schtick out the window because he cares more about fixing Grace than he does about maintaining his charade so he interfaces with her, finds out what the fuck is up, removes Reginald’s shitty mods that are messing her up, and then immediately uploads his own updates about owning yourself and being able to edit your own code and basically just straight up ensuring Grace has free will

(probably over Pogo’s protests, whoops. Derailing Reggie’s plan before it even really began? wack)

and then of course there’s the whole ‘Hargreeves probably don’t believe Five is actually Five because their Five wasn’t a robot and this is probably a cruel prank from some robotics genius for some reason - ’ and it takes Grace sticking up for him and Pogo’s eventual backing up of these claims for the siblings to realize exactly how fucked up this whole situation was

depending on which probability you subscribe to it’s EVEN WORSE especially if like. It’s the one where the original Five dies as a toddler.

the whole scene with Five collapsing from bloodloss bc of shrapnel? that’s Five going into forced shutdown bc of damage and Allison/Diego rushing him back to the house for Grace to patch up and reboot him

Luther: Five isn’t really feeling anything he’s just simulating emotions!

Five: oh? and what the fuck are you doing with the chemicals in your brain, fuckwad? they couldn’t possibly be little electrical signals between synapses and shit, right? fuck you AND the horse you rode in on me and mom apparently feel more than you do

Diego, finally validated that Grace feels: YEAH

Luther: ... okay i’m sorry

Diego tries to pick a fight with Five over who is Grace’s favorite child and Five is absolutely not having it and is just kind of like “you’re mom’s favorite HUMAN child and let’s just leave it at that”

“If you’re a prototype that means you’re older than she is!” Diego accuses, “That means you’re like, her older brother or something!”

“Right back at you, dickwad.” Five shoots back, inspecting his artificial fingernails, “Mom wasn’t built until she was needed which means you are at least four years older than her. Oh? Did you short circuit there, boy scout? Need to reboot? Fuck off with your age logic.”

since Reginald is probably a packrat he probably has?? Five’s old bodies hiding somewhere in the basement? how creepy would it be to just walk into a room of your brother’s corpses at various ages, some with damage. On the bright side, if Five’s current body gets too fucked up he can always download himself into a backup until they figure out how to fix it/if they can fix it. Downsides: he gets to look like even more of a child while they do that ://

“Ow!” Five whines, hand on his face

“Oh get over it you don’t feel pain.” Diego scowls, shaking his hand out, because Five is a robot, right?

“What the fuck do you call signals that you’re getting damaged!” Five howls loudly, attracting attention, “That’s what pain is! Signals that your body is injured or something isn’t right! I’m built of signals you fucker, same as you!”

“Oh,” Diego actually looks a little abashed, “Uh, sorry.”

“Apology not fucking accepted, I’m telling mom you were being a dick about me being a robot again.”

“No!” Now there is some panic because Diego cannot lose his position as favorite human child, “I - I’ll cover for you at the next family meeting!”

A considering look and then - “Deal.”

Honestly now that his siblings know about him being a robot it’s just. Five constantly being a little shit about it and threatening to tell mom when they make missteps. Also like, Five gets to use robot terms 24/7 as a consistent reminder to them all that he’s not organic. 

Klaus: hey dude you’re just staring into space what’cha doing

Five, turning to Klaus with wide eyes: the internet is so big holy shit.

Klaus: uh, yes? I don’t know how to respond to that

Five: I found your arrest record by the way. Do the police know how flimsy their firewalls are?

Klaus: usually i am all for crime but please stop hacking people with the power of your mind

Five: i will when you stop downloading shitty 70s movies and getting all kinds of viruses on everything

OH SHIT Five gets sick bc he literally gets a bug i’m making myself laugh with shitty puns right now and it is magnificent

can you imagine them at a family meeting and Luther is just like “Five, stop surfing wikipedia or whatever and pay attention to the family meeting”

“Absolutely not,” Five says, “I’m learning important information about the current time period in order to better assimilate.”

“You’ve never assimilated to anything in your life and you know it.” Klaus grins from his spot sprawled across an entire couch.

“You don’t have to come to family meetings!” Luther says, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration.

Five blinks, “Luther, are you saying that I am not a member of this family?”

“What? No - ”

“Is that why Mom isn’t here?” Five says, and his eyes are welling up with artificial tears because he is a complete little shit. And now Klaus is cooing sympathetically and Allison and Diego are staring Luther down. 

Luther just gives up entirely and puts his face in his hands. “Do whatever you want. Meeting adjourned.”

honestly this entire au is just

and i think that’s wonderful

[obviouslyelementary]

Detroit Evolution - my thoughts

Okay now that I have sceamed enough about the movie, I think I can put up my thoughts about Detroit Evolution here for everyone interested in discussing and talking about it because fuck, it’s good. Lemme tell you, it’s good. 

The most important aspect of the whole movie, I think, is the fact that it is a fan movie, made by fans, for fans. It’s something big companies like Disney and Universal try to pretend they do, but they never deliver, because their thoughts are only in the amount of tickets or amount of media their movies will get. Most of them don’t have the passion behind it. And I’m not saying fan movie makers shouldn’t think about teh money, quite the contrary, I would have bought Detroit Evolution for 50 dollars if it was for sale because that’s how good the movie is. It is well directed, well filmed, well scripted, well designed, well made... overall, a fucking fantastic film when you talk about the quality. Granted, I am not a movie maker, or a movie speciallist, so I am not able to analyse it with the whole technical parts, but from a watcher standpoint, it is incredible work and I absolutely loved it. I loved the soundtrack, the lighting, the script, the acting! It was all amazing!

It is incredible to me how much love can be put in a fandom that honestly didn’t have any material to begin with. From what I remember, back at the hype of Detroit: Become Human, the main reason Reed900 was made a ship to begin with was either because people wanted crack pairings, or because they didn’t want soft Connor to be shipped with asshole Reed. They wanted someone that could deal with his shitty personality, and thus, RK900 served the perfect role, since he was depicted in the game as a colder, more advanced version of Connor. And thus, Reed900 was created, Nines was created, and now we have a whole fanbase just for this crack ship that no one could have predicted. Fuck, it’s even the most written ship on Detroit’s AO3 tag!

Nevertheless, fandom or not, the movie as a standalone thing is amazing! It is able to give people who haven’t played the game some insight of DBH’s world, without entering too much on the narrative that would leave it confusing. I have had friends that have never played the game or even heard about it watching the movie and loving it, just for the amazing personality all the characters have. It is an amazing piece of art, and its funny, sad and romantic all at the same time, which kinda kills me inside because I love it so much. 

Now finally, we can talk about the acting and about the characters. First of all, I have been a part of this fandom since the game launched, I have seen many interpretations of Nines and Gavin, I myself have written a dozen fanfics about them, and yet, the movie kind of changed my view completely on these characters. I had always been a fan of stoic, cold Nines, and soft, disaster Gavin, but this movie gets those ideas and tosses them out of the window! I absolutely loved how they made Nines so much more human, with clear feelings, distressed moments, overshown happiness and anger! When you think about it, it is much more of a true interpretation of an android becoming deviant: they don’t know how to hide their feelings just yet, like a child that cries or giggles at any sign of happiness or sadness. He is learning, and he is a sweetheart doing it. And Gavin, while still being a fucking ass, was shown in this movie to be much more complex than other medias have portraited him as such. I was always a fan of Gavin having a tragic backstory, but the one the movie presented to me was never one I thought about, and it was one I will for fucking sure use to all my fanfics from now on because I absolutely loved it! Gavin is fragile, he is human, he is a mess, and yet he is captivating and sweet in some moments when you don’t expect him to be. He’s just a normal guy, and I fucking love him for it. 

Now Chris, Tina and Ada. Fuck. Oh my god, if they aren’t my favorites. Hold my tea sis because I have to fucking RANT about those AMAZING ANGELS!

Jokes aside, I absolutely fucking adored all of them! Tina was amazing! Gavin’s best friend, advisor and helper, she fucking steals the show whenever she is around! She's not only there to give him a hand, she's also there to say 'Gavin I swear to god if you don't act up I will slap you in the face'. She wants the best for her friends, and despite not getting too much into action, I just feel like she's such a badass! She has that vibe all around her, like she's able to stop a criminal with a single 'FREEZE' and win the fucking lottery afterwards! She's funny, she's a best friend that feels like a best friend, and she is surely a lazy ass wife which ugh amazing I love it. Chris, oh boy, he is my baby now. He's absolutely clueless, he is sorry for killing androids, he is a guilty mess and he is such a good friend! He tries at least! He wants Nines to 'get laid', or in other words, have a fun night with Ada, because he thinks she's into him and he just wants to help! He is sorry for all the androids he hurt, he treats Nines like a brother almost, and he is the comedy relief without getting too 'on your face' or doing stupid shit just for the jokes! He acts like a curious human friend and fuck if I didn't crack at his Pikachu surprised face when he realized he was shipping the wrong shit all along. He is surely the type of friend to make a surprise party for the newly formed couple and annoy them with shitty facebook posts about android and human partnerships. He's a good friend, just obnoxious sometimes!And Ada. Fuck. They fucked me up with Ada. I honestly did not think she was the killer at all until they got inside the alley. SHE WAS SO WELL WRITTEN! She was sweet, charismatic and scary as hell when she took over Nines' programming. She is intelligent, she was made to adapt, and it fascinated me how she passed as a deviant android without being one! That made me think about how many other androids could still be following their programming with no one noticing! And using the RK line as a plot point was so clever! Ada, Connor, Markus, Nines, all of them prototypes, experiments of Cyberlife, designed to be different from all others, that gives me so many feelings, I absolutely love it!Anyway, I have been writing for too long and this post is already too big, but I just wanted to do a quick mention to congratulate everyone that worked on the cameras, post edits, and the actors themselves, because you guys have a passion, you guys have great ideas, and I will be surely following you into all your next projects, fandom or not! I hope you guys keep the amazing work going! It's incredible! 

Thank you so much @octopunkmedia for doing such an amazing work of art! Please keep it going! You guys are awesome!

[nazario-sayeed]

Bare body, bare soul (Nik x F!MC; N*FW)

Author's note: Some of you are probably thinking "what? you already tagged me on this fic, are you going crazy?" or whatever. Here's the thing: I was stupid using my tags and tumblr took down my previous post as a punishment for me being a whore. Anyway, I noticed it yesterday and now I'm posting it again because I'm stubborn. How I always change some stuff when I edit on tumblr for the last time, this isn't exactly the same as my last one, but there aren't any major differences. English is not my first language so I apologize for any mistakes. I'm shitty at naming my fics, ignore that. Also I don't remember which gif I used last time, which is irrelevant so I don't know why I'm saying this.

Summary: In case there's someone new here, I wrote this fic after chapter 9 when we were cockblocked. It left me wanting more, so I decided to write what should've happened. The initial dialogue is basically the same. My mc's name is Brie. 

WC: around 5,100 (sorry) 

Rating: definitely +18 for explicit sexual content. Do not keep reading if you're not comfortable with this kind of writing. 

I don't have the tag list for that fic so I'm basically using my Jaime one, I'm sorry if I got anyone wrong (please let me know if you don't wanna be tagged): @nazariortega  @duchess-ash-flame  @lahelalove @poeticscolt @donutsgirl36 @queenkaneko @msjpuddleduck @quinnskelly @flyawayboo @brightpinkpeppercorn @choicesarehard @jlpplays1 @desiree-0816 @sibella-plays-choices

When Nik starts stripping down to his underwear, Brie can't look away. She observes in awe the healed scars on his ripped torso, his muscular body under the soft candlelight... She feels her stomach do a funny flip inside of her, and a heat slowly spreads through her body despite of the cold air of the mansion. 

"Uh... Nik? Explain?" she says, trying really hard not to bite her lip at the sight of him exposed like that.

"Vulnerability magic, rook. Some of the most powerful kind there is. You want to see The Fate, you've gotta bare your soul" he explains.

"By stripping down to your skivvies? You sure this is lore and not wishful thinking?" Katherine questions him, raising an eyebrow.

"Summoning is all about symbolic gestures, Katy. Get with the program"

"I've got nothing to hide" Brie chipper says, already reaching behind her back to unzip her dress. "One ceremonial nudity, coming right up!" she lets her dress drop to the floor.

"That's the spirit!" Nik encourages her, trying not to stare as she undresses. Brie blushes a little under his gaze as they smile at each other.

They small talk as the group follows Nik's lead and strips down to their underwear. Brie catches a glimpse of everyone else, almost naked, and feels her face heating up. They form an incredibly attractive group, she can't deny it. She lets her eyes find Nik's frame, and can't help but notices the way the candlelight dances on his skin, lighting up every inch of his sculptured body. He catches her eyes before she can look away, and smirks.

"Like what you see, rook?" he teases her; she feels her whole body flushes with his commentary and the way his eyes are watching her right now, but she tries to play it cool.

"Hm? I don't know what you're talking about" she looks him up and down once again, letting her gaze drop on the only piece of clothing on his body, noticing the nice volume there. She licks her lips, imagining what's inside...

"Sure you don't" he smirks, before slowly scanning her body from head to toes, letting his gaze lingers a little longer on her breasts before turning away. Brie looks away, face red, and her gaze lands on Cal's bare form. She has seen him like that before, but she can't help but observe his large, strong body under the flattering light. He catches her eye and smiles, before hungrily scanning her body in a way that makes her feel like she is his next prey- and right now she kind of wishes she was.

Next to them, Nik notices the way they are looking at each other and his pulse quickens, a unsettling feeling cursing through his veins as he scowls and clenches his fists. He clears his throat to catch everyone's attention to the ritual, but mostly to stop whatever was going on between Cal and Brie.

After exposing themselves in more than one way in order to get help from The Fate, each of them goes to their own guest bedroom in the mansion, trying to escape the thoughts and emotions that their confession brought up. Every one of them is feeling overwhelmed and more vulnerable than they can remember, and the creepy air of the mansion doesn't help at all.  

Brie feels terrified even before closing the door. Even though Nik reassured her this is the safest place they could be in right now, she can't shake off the weird feeling. The shivers on her body are not from the insistent, loud wind, but from something that creeps her from the inside, and she knows she won't fall asleep.  She is feeling too lonely, exposed and guilty to sleep. 

Brie tries to think about anything other than the sounds that echo in her room, or that feeling on her spine that there's someone- or something- watching her even when she's alone. Absently, she lets her mind go back to the moment before they met The Fate.

She thinks about how that was the first time Nik ever looked vulnerable next to her, when he was talking about Elijah's death. How even though he is her bodyguard, in that moment she knew she would do anything to protect him. Her mind goes back to that brief moment when their eyes met after he had told the group about Elijah, and they both knew they were here for each other; one simple look could let her know- could let her feel- how deeply he cares about her- and she hoped he knew and felt it too.

Then, she reminisces about how his eyes went wild when she admitted she was in love with someone there. She didn't even know what she was going to say until the very moment when the words left her lips, and for the first time, she knew they were true. In so little time, she knew he had found a way into her heart- not easily entered after so many heartbreaks.

Tired of wishful thinking, Brie gets up in one movement and exits the room, letting her feet carry her to knock on Nik's door before she can think twice about what she's doing.

"Brie? Thought you were hitting the sack?" he seems surprised as he opens the door, but also amused; his lips curving up in a tiny smirk.

"Couldn't sleep. Looks like it's going around, huh?" she teases and he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. He can't help but think about the restless things he wants to do right now, and it doesn't help that she came to his door in the middle of the night.

"Sure does. Wanna come in for a nightcap? These digs are pretty swanky, I'll give the fate that" he invites her in, trying- and failing- to ignore all the inappropriate thoughts crossing his mind.

"I'd love that..." she says, and he can swear there are at least fifteen intentions on her tone.

Nik swings the door open, welcoming her in, and she slips by him, letting their arms brush lightly against each other, feeling her skin on fire with the brief touch.

"Home sweet home… for the moment, anyway. Can i get you a drink?" Nik asks.

"Yes, please! I'm dying to unwind a little"

"You can say that again. What a night, huh?" as he pours bourbon, he thinks about all the ways he wishes he could use to help her unwind right now. All of them involve her screaming his name. 

He hands her the bourbon and electricity sparks where her fingers brush against his for a second. They clink their glasses, smiling, and they both take a sip, enjoying the warm feeling settling on their bellies.

Nik walks over to the window frame, leaning against it. He lets his gaze find Brie for a long moment and she feels her whole body warming up; she tells herself it's the drink, but she knows it's not. He notices the light blush on her cheeks, and interrupts her thoughts with a question.

"So what do you think, about all this? That was a lot to take in..."

"Honestly? I don't know. I'm glad we have a name, that's huge, but now… It just…" she trails off.

"Feels more real, right? Even more unnerving than before, somehow?" he finishes her thought.

"Yes! That's it exactly" she admits. "I know it sounds weird but when The Fate said 'Cassiopeia', all I could think was, hey, that's a pretty name." Niks snorts at her comment, looking amused, but she continues with a sigh "Too pretty for someone who makes bloodwraiths and zombies. Ridiculous, right?" she asks him, feeling a bit embarrassed but also glad to be sharing this with someone, especially him.

"Nah. I get it. The mind's a tricky beast, alright" he says, as Brie moves to his side by the window and leans on her forearms, taking another sip and letting the wind smooth over her face. Their bodies are close now, too close. She can feel his heat next to her as the wind swipes over them.

"What about you? That thrice-cursed son stuff… What do you think she meant?" she asks, trying to distract her own mind. He shakes his head, his face transforming into a scowl.

"I can't be sure- I mean, who knows what all goes on in her head- but I think it means that the three people who loves me most in the world are dead" he bitterly admits, finishing his drink.

Her first instinct is to think "But you have me". She manages to hold it back, bitting her lips shut. 

"That's a terrible thing to call you" she thinks out loud.

"Not wrong though. I always make it out by the skin of my teeth, lucky me. The people who love me? Not so much" he furrows his brow and clenches his fist at the side of his body, letting the anger get to him.

"You make it sound like you're the curse…" she says, softly.

When he doesn't answer, she turns to Nik and cautiously wraps her arms around him. He stiffens for a moment, before pulling her closer.

"Sometimes... I feel like I'm as bad as the Reimonenq touch. And…" he admits, but she cuts him off.

"Don't say that, Nik. You've lost so much, and it's not your fault" she tells him, with a firm but gentle voice.

Nik sighs deeply, stirring Brie's hair, before he presses a warm kiss to the top of her head. She can feel her heart pounding inside her chest, and his too where her head lays on his chest.

She pulls back and looks at him, and he gives her a wry smile.

"...You promise?" he asks, his voice softer than she has ever heard him.

"Of course I do. I wouldn't even be standing here if it wasn't for you! And I bet I'm not the only one who owes you my life. You risk yourself every day, to keep other people safe. That's not a curse… That's a gift" Brie reassures him, trying to make him understand just how grateful she is and how deeply she cares about him.

The atmosphere between them becomes charged, electric with tension. Hesitantly, Nik reaches out and trails his knuckles gently down her cheek. She feels her breathing stop.

"I don't know what it is about you, Brie, I swear I don't, but you make me feel…" he trails off.

"What? What do I make you feel?" she insists. After gazing down at her for a few seconds, he continues:

"You make me feel like a real person"

She feels her chest bursting with affection and an indescribable need to protect him. In that moment, she doesn't care about anyone else. She's unable to look away from him, his face just inches from hers, the air between them charged with intensity.

Brie leans forward, her breath quickening. The time seems to stop while their lips come closer slowly, until the gravity is just too much and they crash against each other. 

Nik sighs wordlessly against her lips, seeming overwhelmed at first, then he pulls Brie hard against him, one hand clutching the back of her neck.

"Nik..." she moans against him, feeling the desire taking over her body and pooling by her stomach.

"You taste so good, Brie" he breathes into her mouth, and she gasps.

He trails searing kisses down her neck, all the way to the hollow of her throat, and she shudders as he runs his tongue over the sensitive skin.

"I've been thinking about this for so long..." he admits.

"Me too… Please don't stop..." Brie begs him, as she remembers the kisses they've shared before this one. Neither of them came even close to the way their mouths fervidly explore each other now. Neither of them made her longing for more like this. The kiss, which began slow and soft, quickly heats up and they don't seem to be able to get enough of each other.

Nik tugs her clothes over her head, then pulls off his own. Brie runs her palms down his sculpted chest, now face to face with the scars she was admiring earlier. She wants to kiss each one of them, learn their stories, protect him from getting any new ones. He draws a ragged breath under her light touch and pulls back to look at her.

"You're gorgeous, Brie. So damn perfect" he breathes, before guiding her onto the huge bed and pulling her next to him. He captures her mouth in another long, lingering kiss as she drags her fingers through his hair...

"Nik… I-" she moans, but a furious, icy gale from the window washes over both of them, interrupting her.

"Oh, that is chilly" Brie says, a shiver running down her body. Nik quickly gets up from the bed and closes the window with more strength than necessary, making sure it won't open again. When he turns back to her, his expression is changed and it sends a tingle down her spine, almost like a warning. 

“I don’t care what happens. Wind, rain… This whole goddamn place could go up in flames and I wouldn’t give a fuck. I need you, Brie. Ever since I saw you in your underwear earlier, I couldn’t stop thinking about ripping it off your body”. Her breath catches in her throat at his bold statement, and she can already feel her arousal pooling between her legs. She watches as he walks over to where she is laying on the bed, while he looks at her like he's about to devour her. She hopes he is.

He lays on top of her and pins her hands on each side of her face, looking down, his eyes darkened with hunger.

“Nik… I have wanted you since the moment I saw you. Take me. I’m yours.” she breathes, and he smirks almost wickedly. His faces lights up a fire inside of her, one that she hasn’t felt in a long time. Nik has never seemed so protective of her, and so ready to deliciously destroy her.

“You’re mine, rook? Then why the hell you kept looking at the wolfman today? Or do you think I didn’t see it?” he lets go of her wrists and sits up next to her, flipping her onto her stomach with one easy, swift movement, making her gasp. "You think I didn't notice the way he was practically eating you with his eyes? Like you were his next prey..." She doesn’t even have time time to answer as he pulls her to sit up on her knees in front of him, standing behind her, his chest to her back "You think I didn't notice that you were enjoying it?".

Nik runs one calloused hand up the front of her body, over her stomach, chest, stopping at her chin, as he strains her arms between them with the other. He lets go of her chin and grabs her hair, pulling her head back roughly. She lets out a moan while his mouth moves next to her ear.

“Tell me, rook. Are you thinking about the wolfman now?” he presses himself against her back, letting her feel how hard his desire for her is. She moans with need again and closes her eyes, incapable of thinking clearly, intoxicated by the feeling of him. She never thought Nik could be so animalistic, and she's loving it; her whole body needs him.

“I- I… Oh, Nik”

“That’s right, Brie. It’s my name you’ll be moaning- no, screaming tonight. When I’m done with you, you won’t even remember who the werewolf is” he says, and brutally pushes her on all fours on the bed, making her gasp with pleasure and surprise.

Nik runs his hand down her back, earning shivers from her body. She can feel the heat from his body behind her, and the thought of him taking control like that is driving her absolutely mad with lust.

He reaches her soaked panties and pushes them to the side, running his fingers along her sex. Brie is already grasping at the sheets, trying to get some kind of control over her own body. He plunges two fingers inside without warning, and she yelps. Nik lower his body so his mouth is against her ear.

"The way you're soaked right now… Whenever you're starring at shirtless Cal, I hope you remember I am the one who made you feel like that, rook." he bites her earlobe and increases his speed, hitting that spot with every plunge.

Brie is incapable of forming coherent words right now. She is so high on the pleasure he is giving her, and she prays she'll never feel low again. Brie can feel her legs shaking, getting closer and closer with every movement of his hands. When she is almost there, her whole body writhing with desire, he removes his fingers and she immediately misses them, letting out a groan of frustration that amuses Nik.

"Not yet, Brie. Be patient. I'm nowhere near done with you" he says, and flips her onto her back, hovering over her body. He leans in to kiss her passionately, his hands exploring the sides of her body as she pulls him impossibly close by the neck. Brie wraps her legs around his waist grinding on him, trying to feel any kind of friction between her legs, desperate for relieve.

Nik begins to descend his mouth on her body, sucking at her neck in a way they both know will leave a mark. That's what he wants: to let everyone else know she is his, that she spent the night giving herself to him and him only. Nik wants to wake up tomorrow and let the wolfman smell him all over Brie's body.

His mouth founds her chest and she arches her back as he reaches out behind her to unclasp her bra. He quickly takes it off her body and tosses it across the room, pulling back to admire her curves.

"God, Brie… You're breathtaking. No fucking wonder everyone else in that room couldn't take their eyes off you." her cheeks blush a little at the way he is devouring her with his eyes, and she can feel every inch of her body responding to him: her heart is pounding, her breath is quickened, and it feels like her skin is on fire.

"But I am here, Nik. I came to your room." Brie reaches out to touch his cheek gently and he once more crashes his lips into hers. He quickly moves his mouth to her neck and collarbone, nipping and not-so-gently biting his way down, until he is licking the valley between her breasts, while his hands run up her sides, stopping at the curve of her chest. He takes one nipple in his mouth, while works on the other with his fingers. His mouth and hand work together, licking, flicking, pinching until she is crying out, grasping his hair. He moves one hand inside her panties and she feels like she is going to pass out with pleasure as he nips the flesh of her sensitive nub with his teeth.

Nik lets go of her breasts and moves his head lower, trailing a path of kisses down her stomach, until he finally reaches the waistband of her underwear. Before taking it off, he kisses her above the damp fabric.

"God, Nik. Please, stop teasing… I need you" she moans, craving release. He smirks at her and pulls her underwear down her legs, leaving her completely naked on his bed.

"You have no idea of how long I've wanted to have you like that, Brie. No clothes, in my bed, at my mercy." he says, running his fingers through her body. His eyes are dark, full of yearning, lust at its most natural state.

"And now that you have me, what will you do?" she asks, almost daring him to answer.

He responds by lowering his mouth into her sex, making her moan instantly. She throws her head back and grabs his hair with one hand and the sheets with the other.

He's been teasing her for a while now, so when his mouth connects with her body, she's already close. He devours her expertly, like he has been starving and she is the most delicious meal in the world. At that moment, he can't think of anything that tastes better than her.

Nik works his mouth and tongue on her, and with every flick of his tongue he can sense the pleasure building inside her. He inserts a finger, then two into her core, making her moans grow louder. She bucks her hips against his mouth and fingers, trying to feel him closer as possible. He pulls back and she almost screams in irritation.

"You want more, rook?" he asks, still working his fingers, but slowly, barely enough to keep her on the edge.

"Yes, Nik. I want more- I need more" she whimpers, eyes closed with need.

"I wanna see you beg" his voice is a low growl, and it turns her on even more.

"Please, please, please… Nik, oh god, I need you..." the beg leaving her sinful lips is like music to his ears. He dives back in.

His mouth once again finds her center, and he wastes no time sucking her clit into his mouth, thrusting his fingers harder and faster. She cries out, arching her back, and it only takes one more flick of his tongue for her to fall apart around him in pure bliss, the feeling so strong she is sure she has reached heaven. She doesn't even notice she is screaming his name. He doesn't let go until every single drop of ecstasy has left her body, until she's ridden every wave of her orgasm. Her legs are shaking and she's covered in sweat, panting, trying to pull herself together, but never again wanting to come back down from the high. 

His mouth finds its way back to her lips, capturing them in a passionate kiss while she recovers.

"Can you taste how delicious you are, rook?" he asks, pulling back with a smirk to admire her flushed face.

"Right now, I would rather taste you" she admits, and he growls. Nik captures her lips again, wrapping his arms around her and flipping their position, getting her to straddle his hips. His hands find her ass quickly, and he gives it a small slap before squeezing it. Brie begins to run her hands down his muscular torso, enjoying the feeling of his ripped abs underneath her fingertips. She reaches the waistband of his underwear, still kissing his mouth, and lets her hand drop lower, caressing him over the fabric. He bites her lower lip and digs his nails on the flesh of her hips as she squeezes him, making him moan into her mouth.

Brie lets go of his lips to kiss his stubble jaw, then his neck and the spot right below his ear. Nik reaches her hair and wraps it around his hand, applying a bit of pressure on his hold. She begins to trail kisses down his chest and abs, taking her time kissing his strong frame, covering every scar on his torso with her lips. Unlike him, she takes no time teasing him when she reaches his waistband, quickly rolling his underwear down his legs and off his body. She runs her fingers through his strong thighs, kissing it, licking it all the way up to his groin.

When she finally reaches his shaft, she gives it a few slow strokes and runs her thumb in circles on its tip, as Nik's breath quickens. She gives it a tiny kiss, still running her fingers up and down, before taking him into her mouth.

"Christ, Brie..." he moans, holding her hair while she expertly uses her mouth and tongue on him; kissing, sucking and licking the exact spots she knows will drive him mad. As she swirls her tongue around his head, he grips her hair tighter and pulls her up "Are you trying to make me lose my mind, rook?".

She smirks at him, but it quickly fades as he roughly pulls her by the hair to his mouth, kissing her hard. He moves his head to her neck and sucks it before releasing her.

"Get on all fours" he commands, and she is too turned on to deny him anything. She gets on her knees and forearms, facing away from him, and she looks over her shoulder to see him going through his pants and reaching its pocket for his wallet, pulling out a condom.

While he fumbles with his pants and catches her looking over her shoulder at him, Nik thinks about how lucky he is. Brie could knock on anyone's room today and they would happily let her in; they all wished to be in his place right now, and there she was: on all fours on his bed, her glistening core waiting and wanting him.

He positions himself behind her, between her legs after rolling down the condom, and guides himself until his tip is touching her folds. He gives her ass a playful smack, and the sound she lets out makes him even more turned on, so he does it again, harder this time, earning a louder moan from her lips. She holds her breath with anticipation while he runs his tip up and down her entrance, teasing her. She lets out a frustrated groan after a few seconds.

"God, Nik, aren't you tired of teasing me? Just fuck me alr- ohh!" her complain is interrupted by a moan as he enters her with one hasty movement.  

"You were saying?" he teases, as he grabs her hips and thrusts hard into her, quickly creating a rhythm.

He doesn't hold back. He uses one hand to hold her hip as the other wraps around the hair on her neck and pulls her head back, making her moan loudly. He swears that the feeling of her walls around him is the most exquisite thing he has ever experienced.

Nik isn't one for second dates, he has never been jealous before, but Brie managed to wake feelings and sensations he never knew existed. He feels so protective of her, and it shows in his movements, as he tries to claim her as only his. He pulls her hip impossibly closer, hitting even deeper inside her, making an animalistic grunt leave her mouth.

"That's it, Brie. Louder. I wanna hear you scream my name so loud this whole damn fancy house knows I am the one making you lose control like that." he says, giving her all of him, driving deeper and harder with every slam of his hips, and she does exactly as he tells. The sensation of Nik filling her up is so overwhelming that she has no choice but to scream, trying to let out some of these feelings.

"Nik, oh god, harder!" she begs, not even realising what she is asking for, not even sure she can take more. Right now, he hits the perfect balance between pain and pleasure with every thrust. She has never felt so filled before, she has never been fucked like that before and she knows that now she has tried it, there’s no going back. He delivers harder, his nails so deep inside the flesh of her hips they are breaking the skin, but neither of them seem to notice or care. Tears of pleasure mixed with pain glisten in the corner of her eyes, and she is holding onto the sheets like it’s life itself. "Nik, I'm so close!" she moans, trying to breathe.

Hearing his name being screamed by her lustful lips makes Nik bucks his hips forward in a way that hits her most sensitive spot, and she comes apart around him, screaming his name so loud that he is sure she’s heard all across The Fate's mansion. Her walls clench around his length but he doesn't slow down, feeling his own release coming close. Brie is too worn out to react, so she just stays in front of him, moaning and crying out his name as he fucks her senseless. She squeezes him inside of her, and he feels the electricity beginning to rise in his body. "Brie, I'm close" he cries out, never stopping neither slowing down.

Catching him by surprise, Brie removes herself from his hold and quickly turns around, facing him. Nik is too surprised to react before she kneels in front of him, pulling the condom off him and taking him into her mouth once more. At the moment when she wraps her mouth around him, Nik’s head falls back and he lets out a groan. More gentle then he has been the whole night, he holds her hair back as she works on him. As he feels his ecstasy approaching, he tries to pull her head back, but she doesn't let him, working even harder. He has no other option but to spill inside her mouth as pleasure washes over him, and he moans her name for only her to hear.

Brie licks him clean and moves up, they both kneeling on the bed, facing each other. She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand and he thinks it's the sexiest thing he's ever seen. They lock eyes and smile before he pulls her by the waist for a delicate kiss.

Her body is covered in bruises, her hair is a mess, and they both are covered in sweat, but they also have that unique face of someone who has just reached the peak of pleasure and satisfaction. 

“Do you think The Fate will me mad at us?” Brie teases, as they crawl under the covers. He snorts and pulls her close, wrapping his arms around her and letting she rest her head on his shoulder.

“I dunno, rook. And I don’t care” Nik says, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“Me neither. Even if she does, it was worth it. Sooooo worth it” she says with a wide smile, kissing his chest. He absently runs his hand through her hair, smiling.

The way he’s feeling right now, not only completely satisfied but also safe, tells him he is in trouble. A lot of trouble. Looking down at Brie, comfortably snuggled with him, he feels his heart skips a beat and he can’t help but smile, but it quickly fades as he thinks about what usually happens to those who get close to him.

“Yeah, it was. Sleep tight, Brie”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure I will…” she teases again, her eyes already closing as she drifts off to a peaceful sleep, and follows her, never wanting to let her go again.

What has she done to him?

[sibilantly]

hi, sib. i just read your fic persistence, and it was so beautifully done that i wanted to drop you a note. your writing has seriously been such an influence on mine, but lately i've been having so much trouble because of my ocd. now i can't read anything without nitpicking the grammar, much less write. it's been this way for months now and i feel like i'm losing my mind. all i ever wanted was to write something good but... well, at least i still get to read something by you. i shall be content.

I’m sorry for the delay in replying, anon. Your message was so thoughtful, but also struck this… almost painfully bittersweet, personal note with me, and I had to take a couple days to reflect.

I’m so happy you enjoyed Persistence - it was a lil 500 word labour of love, but it’s somewhat different from my usual body of work, and I was a bit nervous putting it out there. So I’m delighted you enjoyed it. And it’s quite flattering to hear I’m an influence on your writing, since I feel I’m still learning the craft of writing, in many, many ways. Thank you!

Now, as for the latter half of your message…

Oh, anon.

Nonny non anon, I feel you. I’ve been… well, perhaps not right in your shoes, as I have never had OCD. But I’ve been in the same vicinity, most definitely.

Up until half a year ago, or thereabouts, my writing process was: write out a few paragraphs (if that - sometimes it was barely a paragraph) and then rework them. I would rework them over and over and over, until I felt they were just right. Only then did I feel I could move on. I felt like I was laying the foundations for a house, you know? If I didn’t get the first things laid down just right, then everything that came after would be on shaky ground, might even come tumbling down.

Thing is, writing is more like sculpting. You dig up some clay (your discovery draft or your outline, whatever), you mould it (your first draft), and then you carve and add little bits, over and over (editing. and more editing. and more. fucking editing >.>)

Anyway.

Eventually, I started slowing down, and the threshold of what I could stand before I needed to edit got smaller. It became ‘write a few lines. stop. edit those lines over and over’. And then it became ‘write one line. stop. edit that line over and over’. Rinse, repeat.

It got to the point where I stopped writing completely, for almost half a year, because everything I wrote down was so far from what I envisioned in my head, it was crushing. I had the exact same despairing thought you did: ‘All I want is to write something good’. And if I didn’t write it down, if I kept it in my head, it was good. It was perfect, in fact. Surely that was better (I thought to myself).

I feel you, I feel you, I do.

I wish there was some magic bullet that I could use to erase all those thoughts from you, to divide writing from editing in your mind, because they’re two very different processes. I would… well, I would use it on myself first, because I am human and selfish, but then I would turn it on you, and everyone else who is plagued by this period ;)

But the horrid thing (which I was very, very displeased to realise), is that if you want to write, the only thing you can do in this period is just… push… through it.

D:

It’s the worst fucking epiphany ever. If I got that in a fortune cookie, I’d be fucking pissed. But it’s seriously all there is.

There’s nothing wrong with not wanting to write, if you ultimately decide it’s not for you.

BUT.

If you do want to write, or if there comes a time when you’re not content with reading, and… y'know, you’re willing to indulge me, random fanfic lady on the internet, I want you to do this:

Pick up the pen (or put your fingers to the keyboard, but if you can, I recommend pen because you can’t backspace pen and paper) and eke out some words every day.

It doesn’t have to be a lot. It might just be a sentence.

Whiskyrunner, who we all generally acknowledge to be amazeballs, went through a period where her goal was 10 words a day because she knew she could achieve that.

That’s important. Pick a word count that you know you can achieve, not one you have to push yourself to achieve, because if you fail, you will self-flagellate. Trust me, I have been there. I hated every son of a bitch who recommended ‘write every day’, because for every day I failed to write a page, I’d hate myself a little more, and the joy I found in writing would shrink. (And they’d always recommend a page, or pages, and I’d be like, ‘What, motherfucker? There are some days when I can’t summon up the energy to get out of bed, and you want me to write a page? Pages?’ There should be some script that edits ‘write every day’ to ‘write an amount that’s achievable for you every day, even if it’s one sentence’, I think.)

Write until you hit your word goal or until you’re satisfied, whichever you have the mental energy and fortitude for that day. If there’s a day where you do the latter, don’t fall into the trap of thinking you have to match that the next day. Don’t move the goal posts. Your goal is still (X) words. Everything beyond that is like the stretch goal on a Kickstarter. Nice, but not the main aim.

Next (and this is the hard part - or, at least, it was for me: do nothing.

Don’t tweak them. Don’t delete them. Don’t touch them.

The second you hit your goal, close the doc, close your notebook - whatever you write in. You did it, you achieved the goal, which is ‘(X) number of words’.

Do whatever you need to do to remind yourself of that.

Your goal is not '100 (or 50 or 25 or 10) good words a day’. Your goal is words.

Just words.

To paraphrase Bane: now is not the time for qualitative judgement, only quantitative. Right now, you’re at the 'digging up the clay’ stage of the writing process. You’re just trying to get enough clay to sculpt into some lumpy-looking motherfucker which you will eventually carve down into your nice sculpture.

(Don’t think about the sculpture right now. Think about (X) number of words, and digging up clay.)

There was a point where I did all sorts of objectively bizarre things to remind myself of this, and to outfox my anxiety-ridden brain and its need to edit, including, but not limited to:

- writing on a fresh page each day, even if it meant 90% of the preceding page was still blank

- opening new docs each day to write my daily goal (which I would then have to piece together later, haha)

- using that program - ilys? - that only lets you see the last letter of what you typed

- muttering to myself ‘the goal is (X) words. the goal is (X) words. the goal is (X) words. only the number of words matters. only the number.’

If you’re anything like me (and, hey, I felt your message on a deep level, so I think we’re at least a little alike), you will hate every word you write with this process. You will hate this process, period. You will want to go back and retool the words because holy fuck, what if someone, somehow, gets access to your notes and sees this mess you just eked out? What if you die, and all that’s left to show of yourself as a writer is this half-written piece of shit?

(Okay, maybe that last fear is just me.)

Still. This is normal.

But how you feel about your writing immediately after writing it is not an objective, accurate measure of how good it is. You’ll be tired, you’ll be stressed, you’ll be comparing it to the image you have in your head and thinking about how far apart they are and despairing.

Stop there.

Close the doc (or the notepad, or the notebook, or turn over the post-it note (I did that at one stage, too - writing on post-it notes, haha)). You did it, you wrote the words. You dug up some clay. No one will see them but you, and whoever you choose to show them to. You can edit them later. You can make them better, or throw out whole paragraphs or whole pages if you need to. But later. Only after you finish the draft, however many new pages or new docs (or post-it notes) it takes.

Try to be kind to yourself. It’s so damn hard, I know it is, but try to remind yourself that what you wrote for the day does not define you as a writer. Even the finished, edited work does not define you. It just shows what you were capable of writing in that moment, on that day, at that point in time.

I can’t guarantee this will work for you. But there is something to be said for habit, for retraining one’s brain (to a certain extent). If you do want to try writing again, and you try this, anon, know that I’ll be proud of you, and I’ll salute you for the very act of trying.

Much love,

Sib

(P.S.: Here, I recovered a partial copy of the very first draft I wrote of Persistence. I don’t know where the rest is (on paper, probably), but hopefully it’s enough for you to see the difference between draft and finished work, and to… idk, have a good chuckle, maybe, but hopefully feel reassured, too ;). We all write shitty first drafts. They’re the clay that you mould into something better.)

They’re two levels down, in a sunny, light-filled build meant to evoke the mark’s childhood home and favourite holiday spot, when the windows and the door and the fucking walls blow in, and a SWAT team swarms in like a tide of gun-toting ants.

(DUST, STUFF FLYING EVERYWHERE. YELLING. CHUNK OF PLASTER GOES FLYING TOWARDS EAMES.)

Eames ducks, which means the chunk of plaster misses him, but, unfortunately, takes out Cixin, their extractor, with a wet crunch. They’ll have to work on Cixin’s spatial awareness later, Eames thinks.

The SWAT team levels their guns at the remainder of Eames’ team. Even a few years ago, Eames might’ve considered running. Now, he just raises his hands, gets down on the ground when ordered to.

Everyone else runs.

There’s sporadic gunfire, the sound of running footsteps, truncated screams and cut off swearing as Eames’ team is violently kicked out, one by one.

Eames stays where he is until silence reigns.

(FOOTSTEPS, A GUN MUZZLE AGAINST EAMES’ BACK, BUT NO SHOT COMES.)

Eames peeks upward, just in time to see the leader of the SWAT team yanks his mask off, revealing Arthur’s exasperated, sweaty face.

“I can’t believe you’re working today, of all days,” Arthur says. “I should probably shoot you just for that.”

“But you won’t.” Eames rolls over onto his back, smiles his most charming smile as he gets to his feet. “And you have to admit it’s somewhat fitting, me working today.”

Arthur smiles fondly, diluting the exasperation. “Maybe.” He looks Eames up and down. “You look good.”

“You’re lying, but thank you,” Eames says. He nods at Arthur’s outfit. “That looks good on you.”

Arthur is inspecting his outfit. “You know, this wouldn’t be a bad disguise, if you were working on an opposing team. Make the other team think you’re the mark’s militarisation–”

“Stop right there.”

“What?” Arthur says. “Worried you’ll be tempted away from the side of the angels?”

“Worried I’ll be tempted away from my regular paycheck, anyway,” Eames says, sniffing.

Arthur chuckles, then nods upward. “Are they going to give you the kick soon?”

“Not just yet. They’re probably debating whether or not I’ve gotten to the safe or not.”

“You need to get on top of that,” Arthur says. “You can’t have your team hesitating over what to do next on live jobs.”